When You Hold Me
by jaarXofXcandyz
Summary: It's Valentines Day, so I decided that there is no better time to reflect on my love-life. Okay, So I've been holding on to unrequited love for years, but maybe it's not that. I still have a chance. It's too bad he hates Valentines Day. houseXwilson slash
1. I melt inside

**Hey there People! My name is jaarXofXcandy, and this is my first House M.D. story! This is just an introduction chapter, so the next one will be out very soon. Reviews make my fingers go faster, my heart float higher, and better stories to fabricate. The lesson here? Reviews are awesome! Please and thank you.**

**WARNINGS: One sided slash(for now) and a scoop of fluff for sweetness!**

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When You Hold Me

Today is beautiful. No doubt about it, clear blue skies at this time of year would put anyone in such a good mood. I'm not in just a normal 'Today's looking good' kind of mood, but a true-blue 'Today is good' kind of mood. It is Valentines day, the fourteenth of February, and also the greatest day of the year.

All this was going through my head as I lay in my cozy, temperptic bed, which was in my warm condo that I shared with my best friend. But he wasn't even on my mind as a slid out of the silk sheets and sauntered into the bathroom. It was so quiet, so serene, I couldn't help but start the bath waters. Just a few minutes later, the tub was filled with suds and H20. Easing into the warmth of a bubble bath, my mind attempts to take a vacation from my hectic life. I don't think of anything in particular, until my roommate pops into my head.

"Ugh..." His icy blue eyes seem to penetrate me, even though I know he isn't in here. His smart, quirky smile forms in my head, filling my stomach with a warmth I haven't experienced since my girlfriend died. Gregory House was everything I'd ever dreamed of, except for the fact that he was a man.

~Flashback~

I'd never had good luck with woman, not since I can remember. Whenever I'd feel like I'd finally found 'the one,' something always messed it up. My first really serious girlfriend was in college, a month before I met House. She was great, but once I met him, it was different. When I kissed her, I'd feel that sadistic bastard under me instead, and when we held hands, it felt like his rough calloused ones encased mine.

While I was on the verge of going insane, she strained herself to keep our relationship going. I was on my third month of dating her, the longest I'd ever lasted with a girl, when I learned the one way to destroy your relationship: Call her by the wrong name. Even better, call her by the wrong name during sex. The supreme best way? Call her by your best friend's name during sex. It's a guaranteed break-up. Now that I think about those days, I might have wanted to end our relationship, but not in such a horrible way.

I remember showing up at House's apartment in the middle of the night. He didn't need an explanation, he just let me in and we fell asleep on the couch. Of course, when I woke up, he hounded me about the explanation. Even back then, he'd always relied on reasoning, and he certainly wouldn't let the topic lie without a conclusion. After half an hour of me shaking my head at his every, carefully calculated guess, he seemed to broach the right idea.

"You two were fucking, and you realized you hate her guts." House's serious face bore into mine. All I could do was shrug. "Hmmm, oh! Maybe, she told you that she cheated on you while you were fucking. And THEN you realized you hate her?"

"No. That's not it." I rubbed my knuckles into my tear ducts. Greg always made fun of me for being a crybaby, and sometimes he would call me a girl. But I didn't care what he thought of me, because I was having a serious issue.

"You were fucking and-"

"God! Can you stop calling it that? What's wrong with calling it 'Sex' or 'Making Love'?" I groaned at his immaturity.

He didn't answer me, but he did go get leftover pizza out of the fridge and hand me a slice. I appreciated the break from the interrogation. Unfortunately, this gave my eyes the opportunity to sweep over his lean, beautiful body, while he scarfed down his pizza, innocent and unknowing of my actions.

After Greg had finished his fourth slice and second mug of coffee, he made his way back into the living room. I blinked, surprised, at my uneaten slice. Not to cause any suspicion from him, I ate it quickly before following after him.

"So, judging from your responses, you still love her. But something happened during this particular round of... sex. Something big enough to leave you crying on my doorstep, reeking of said sex." His calculating gaze was aimed at me. I now realized how stupid my actions had been, considering I hadn't even put a shirt back on. Here I was: half naked, and, indeed, smelling as if I'd been rolling in my own cum. This notion just left me feeling pathetic.

"You suck, House." I fell back onto his large, brown, and fuzzy couch. It was really old, so when you sat on it, you sank down about five inches. Something about being buried in his couch, with him right next to me, made me feel safe from the outside world.

"Fine. You were having sex, and called her by some hot girl's name who was in your advanced biology class last term." As he said this, new tears swelled up in my eyes. Even as I wept with the irony, it drove me to laughing. This, of course, led to him staring at me like I have six heads.

"Close. But it wasn't some hot girl in biology class. Besides, there were only middle-aged men in that class." I leaned on his shoulder, suddenly tired. All this laughter really takes a lot out of a guy.

Greg sighed, and his breath tickled my cheek. A blush worked it's way up my neck at he played with my soft brown hair. Did he realize that's not something guys do to one another? Or has he figured out the real reason I'm here?

"Do you love someone else, and she found out?" He pushed me away gently and looked at me solemnly. The comment left me spinning, because it was so out of character for him. Normally, he'd laugh and make fun of his inability to keep a girl because my mind was always changing. (That's what I get for telling him all those stories from high school)

I stared at his ceiling for a minute. Did I love him? Did I love the one good friend I have? Am I, you know, in love with a guy? Did I totally screw up my relationship because I love him? Am I totally screwed because of this? Will he hate me if he finds out? Can I really keep this a secret? After some hesitation, I nodded, "Yeah."


	2. I cry a little

I'm back again! In such a short amount of time, too! I worked on this until 2AM, so the grammar may be a little funky... and not in a good way. Like, in the 'My milk expired and is there-for funky' kind of way. If anything bothers you, just let me know in your review and I'll change it asap!

(Sorry for the re-post, fanfiction was giving me some trouble)

WARNING: One sided slash(for now) and a scoop of fluff for sweetness!

Oh, I forgot last time, but I do not own House, M.D., so don't sue me please :) Reviews won't be denied though...

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_Previously on __When You Hold Me__:_

_Greg sighed, and his breath tickled my cheek. A blush worked it's way up my neck at he played with my soft brown hair. Did he realize that's not something guys do to one another? Or has he figured out the real reason I'm here?_

"_Do you love someone else, and she found out?" He pushed me away gently and looked at me solemnly. The comment left me spinning, because it was so out of character for him. Normally, he'd laugh and make fun of his inability to keep a girl because my mind was always changing. (That's what I get for telling him all those stories from high school)_

_I stared at his ceiling for a minute. Did I love him? Did I love the one good friend I have? Am I, you know, in love with a guy? Did I totally screw up my relationship because I love him? Am I totally screwed because of this? Will he hate me if he finds out? Can I really keep this a secret? After some hesitation, I nodded, "Yeah."_

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When You Hold Me

I had been so relieved, our friendship had never changed after that day. Sure, we got closer, but House didn't act differently towards me. I returned the favor, but still lived in constant worry that he'd take a double entendre the wrong way, or he'd see me check him out while we ate lunch at the sandwich shop. But he never mentioned anything about my 'odd' behavior.

As I sat up in the tub, a shiver ran through my spine. The once steaming water was like ice, cold enough to make my legs turn a certain shade of blue. Dread, creeping though my body like a poison, was confirmed with a quick glance.

"Damn!" I scrambled from the tub, stricken by the time. _12 PM._ I'd fallen asleep in the stupid bath, and now am late for work. Pulling a towel from the shelf, I loosely tired it around my hips as I pondered the notion of me falling asleep in here. It seemed impossible, seeing as, usually, Greg would have came in and complained until I got out. Then he would proceed to take an unnecessary bath in my personal tub. I faked anger, most days, when I'd wake up to find him soaking his hurt leg, but it never really bothered me.

As I wandered into his bedroom, I called into his half bath, "Are you in there?" When there was no answer, I opened the door. Much to my surprise, he wasn't reluctantly taking a shower or shaving, like I'd assumed. I turned around and scanned his ridiculously messy room.

House's bed lay unmade, for the fourth week in a row, and was strewn with crumpled shirts, pants, and a tie. That peaked my interest, because he only owns two ties, and wears them on rare, rare occasions. Here lay only one of them, so he must be wearing the other. Maybe he had a new girlfriend that he wished to impress...

After half a second, that idea seemed ridiculous. I was worrying about him like we were teenage lovers. With that sad note, I wadded through the junk covered floor. It was amazing, we'd hardly lived here a month and he already trashed the room. Except his piano. That stood in the corner, unfazed by the chaos around it. I eased onto the bench and inhaled. Though the room appeared disgusting, it held a thick aroma of Greg.

Sometimes, when I know my roommate is out and won't be back for hours, I'll come in and sleep in his bed. His soft, cotton sheets teamed up with the heavenly smell of his cologne to lull me to sleep on nights when he works late at the hospital. Now, however, was not a moment I could let these familiar sights comfort me into closing my eyes. I had important things to ponder before I let the reality of being late to work, again, sink in.

It appeared he'd left for work already, but Greg would never leave me asleep in the tub, for fear of his only trust-worthy friend's death. That means he must have left before I woke up, which was at seven. And that notion was a crazy one. He always slept until nine, at the very latest. That could mean there was an emergency with his current patient, but I would have heard the phone ring fifty times before he would get it, and then leave noisily. With this new revelation, and the old one about him wearing a tie, I was basically right back where I started all those years ago; confused about House and his behavior.

Shaking my head, I returned to my own room to get dressed. I can't let him get in the way of my being on time to work when he isn't even here. After another forty-five minutes, I was in my car. Before I could start my car, he was in my head. The smell he emitted has tainted my new car, but no complaints will come out of my mouth. At that, I pulled out of the lot, humming a cheerful beat.

When I arrived at Princeton Plainsboro, a pang formed in my heart. Three ambulances were parked in front of the emergency department, and the parking lot was brimming with cars. That is the one problem with working in a hospital; you have to be around all these dying people. Of course, for House, the job is filled with mystery and puzzles. He'd hate my task; helping the dying deal with death, or trying to fight for a person's life so they won't become dying. Oncology is hard, because you get attached to the patients that work so hard to live. Diagnostics is hard, because you have to figure it out before they die. If they die, oh well, it's just an unsolved puzzle. I guess that is the difference between House and I. He doesn't get emotionally attached to people, or tries not to, at least.

"You're late." Cuddy's voice pierces my inner ramblings. Blinking, I stare at her for a moment. Doesn't she know I was in the middle of an important conversation with myself?

"I know." After challenging her glare for a few minutes, I averted her by side stepping, and made a bee-line for the elevators. After pressing the button, the clicking of heels made her presence known.

"You were late, but House wasn't. Why?" The brunette tucked a curl behind her ear before crossing her arms. "He hasn't left his office since he got here at eight AM, which is two hours earlier than he ever gets here. And you come in three hours later!"

'_DING'_ The elevators slid open, empty, ready for my escape.

"I'm sorry, Lisa. You're as clueless as I am. Have you tried talking to him about it?" I entered quickly, pressing the close button.

She thwarts my plan by stepping in before the doors slid closed, "Wilson. Something is off. He's wearing... a tie, and his suit matches." Cuddy's eyes won't let mine go astray. "Please, do something. I don't mind that he actually looks neat, but he won't even participate in the differential of a girl who has been sick for six years with mysterious pains and delusions."

I was stunned at this. House never ignores this kind of case, he actually strives for that sort of thing. "Maybe he couldn't sleep last night. He's been a little off since he came back from Mayfield."

She shook her head, hit the button for the second floor, even though we were already at the sixth. "Whatever you do, just get him out of this mood I don't need a patient die because my best doctor is insane."

The doors opened for my floor, and I fled from the elevators, Honestly, I wasn't usually this rude to her, but recently I've found I can't stand her. Ever since Cuddy broke the man I secretly adore's heart, everything she does annoys me. When she talks to me about Greg, I just get this feeling that she knows how I feel and is holding it above my head. Sure, she's never said anything, but those boobs of hers told me differently.

I don't know how, but somehow I've ended up in front of House's room. I swear, my feet have a mind of their own! Quietly scolding my brain for playing such a trick on me, I turned around in search of my own department.

"Wilson!" A thick Australian accent stopped my body from further motion. "Hello Chase, Happy Valentine's Day." I turned slowly, with a forced smile on my face. How was everyone finding me? Well, I was outside the place where they work, but still! Can't a grown man stare inside his best friend's office without getting interrupted?

"Oh, I just wanted to ask you if you could talk to House." The blond turned his head slightly to the right, in the direction of the office I'd just been caught peering into. "He's acting odd today. More odd than usual. Taub bet that he has a new girlfriend, but they aren't too close yet so he isn't sure if they're official. I say that's bull and he just is still angry about Cuddy. Thirteen placed a bet that... um, never mind. We're just concerned and-"

I rolled my eyes as the blond stumbled over his words, realizing he was telling the boss's best friend that the employees are betting on his love life. "Okay, alright. I'll have a talk with him. You go tell the others he isn't seeing some mystery girl or whatever. Take it from me, he's single."

Chase shrugged at my words before returning to the confines of the diagnosis department's only room. In the new-found silence, I reveled in what I just said. Would he really tell me if he was seeing someone, like, seriously? He would hid it, knowing him.

I stepped up to the door and read it carefully, 'Gregory House, M.D.' was printed in neat, black letters. After examining this short statement thoroughly, I knocked three times.

A mumbled "Go Away Cuddy." was all I heard, so I pushed the glass in slightly.

"House?" I stepped inside the dark room and quietly shut the door behind me. "What's going on? Everyone is ganging up on me because you decided to leave without me today."

He reached over and turned on his desk lamp before turning towards me, "Hm? Am I not allowed to walk to school, Mommy?" House pouted sarcastically as he began to stand up. "I pinky promise to never let it happen again."

"I'm serious! Cuddy attacked me as soon as I came in, and Chase hounded me to talk to you as well! Plus, they're taking bets on what's going on with you." My anger was flaring up. He never takes me seriously when I want him to. "And you are wearing a tie."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious." He snatched his cane from where it hung on a mantle, and limped over to me. "Are we done with this lecture, Mommy? Or should I sit in time out too?"

I don't think I heard one word from his mouth as soon as he stood up, really. He was wearing a matching suit that fit him so well, and the tie was a beautiful blue color that matched his eyes. House looked... gorgeous. If I voiced this opinion, I'm sure he'd have punched me. His eyes had a dangerous flicker to them, and his stance was strong. Everyone was right, something is different today.

My voice grew soft, "I thought you hated Valentine's Day?" He stepped back, looking surprised, as if he'd forgotten his hatred for the holiday of love.

"Yeah, who wouldn't hate the holiday that breeds on companionship when you lack it? This year might be different..." I looked at his face as he said that. House has really aged gracefully, considering all he's been though. He has some frown lines, but wrinkles are few. His graying hair doesn't look half bad either. I tilted my head, gazing intently at this creature of beauty. "-and I think... Uh, Wilson? Why are you smiling at me? I'm agitated with you, and expressing this aggravation, yet you smile?"

"Huh? You were talking?" I smacked my face, internally, of course, before quickly replying, "I always say thing could be different, but in reality, you have to live with what you get. Don't just wait for something to change, because then it never will." He nods at my comment, and turns around to sit in his chair.

I took this to signify that he wanted me out, but as I left, I heard him say aloud, "That's interesting."


End file.
